When Boundaries Feel Like Rejection: Healing the Space Between

Why do boundaries feel so hard to set—or to receive? For many of us, the discomfort runs deeper than the moment at hand. Childhood experiences with emotional distance, inconsistent caregiving, or trauma often shape how we respond to space between ourselves and others. In adulthood, this can make boundaries feel like rejection, not self-protection.
In this post, we explore the emotional roots of boundary pain, the patterns it creates in relationships, and how therapeutic tools like EMDR, IFS, and somatic work can help us rewrite those old stories. Boundaries aren’t abandonment—they’re a path toward healthier connection.

Boundaries Aren’t Control—They’re Self-Respect

Boundaries are everywhere these days—on podcasts, in self-help books, and across social media. But despite the buzz, they’re often misunderstood. Boundaries aren’t about controlling others. They’re about taking responsibility for ourselves.

As a therapist, I often see people confuse boundaries with attempts to manage someone else’s behavior. But real boundaries are about what we will or won’t allow—not about issuing ultimatums.

In this post, I break down what boundaries really mean, why they’re so hard for many of us, and how setting them with clarity and compassion can lead to healthier, more honest relationships.